I would prefer that the sender's name was something like Jack@NYTimes.com or even Tom@NYTimes.com, instead of plain ol' boring "NYTimes.com," because then I can imagine a serious, alert, brainy man (who's also cute, of course) sitting behind his desk seriously considering which headlines I --a 36-year-old liberal native Californian, with no pets, no children, single, ex-business owner, contract designer, artist, blogger, aspiring writer, tall, bored, living abroad, English conversation teacher--would most enjoy and find interesting. (Not an easy job, I'm sure. Jack or Tom needs a raise.) Instead I'm stuck imagining Hal sifting quickly through the headings and using his psycho-analytical nonreasoning to send me the daily
Yet humor is not beyond Hal. For this morning's email he used the alas "NYTimes.com News Alert." For the half-second prior to reading the subject line, I felt alarm (and I'm sure that pleased Hal)--Did the dollar fall even more? Has the war in Iraq finally turned a corner?
As I read the subject line, "News Alert: Season Ends for the Mets," my alarm turned to confusion. Did the Mets collectively die or get seriously ill? What happened to the Mets? (Is it obvious yet that I don't follow sports? Hey, at least I know that the Mets are a football team. Um, soccer? Baseball? I kid. Sort of.) Obviously, something dramatic and horrible happened for Hal to send me a special News Alert--a first as far as I can remember.
So I opened the email:
"An 8-1 loss to the Florida Marlins, coupled with the Phillies' 6-1 victory against Washington, eliminated the Mets from postseason contention."
Well, I don't know baseball (this News Alert is about baseball, right?), but this news hardly sounds worthy of an Alert to me. I'm sure Hal is amused though at my expense. Well done, Hal.
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In other news:
The apartment I checked out on Friday was tiny, but charming, and reeked of mildew. My brother-in-law went with me, and when we left he said that it would probably work for me until I found something better. I told him that I was concerned about the mold, because I have respiratory problems (in fact, I'm fighting bronchitis right now). "That's because your soul feels oppressed for some reason." He's a doctor--a chiropractor--and believes that things beyond the physical realm have as much of an effect on our bodies as does the real world. I'm in agreement, but until my soul feels more liberated, I don't want to subject my system to unhealthy living conditions. So, the search continued.
On Saturday I found the apartment of my dreams. For only 50€ more, it has a separate bedroom, a very large living room, a separate kitchen, and a HUGE bathroom with a separate tub and shower. The building is exactly what an American has in mind when she thinks of an Italian house: wooden shutters on the windows, old hand-painted tile flooring, and amazon tall ceilings (12 feet??) that ease into beautiful plaster walls. I'm going to enjoy coming home. Viva Italia!
8 comments:
Congrats on the apartment. Though it makes "I'm going to enjoy coming home" even less llikely to be what you say about Louisville.
The Mets were a Collapse of Epic Proportion, a Story for the Ages. The amazing thing is that the casualty count was likely no higher than the usual at Shea.
But, hey, it knocked Iraq off the front page, so it must be Important.
That's definitely alert-worthy news.
Wow! The apartment sounds great! See what you get for NOT settling for something you don't want?
It's a good thing you got a separate bedroom because, while I'm content to sleep sullo strato, I often snore. Without the wall/door between, it's likely to bother you. ;)
Ken: Thanks! Louisville still has a special place in my heart. I might end up there yet. (Much to everybody's shock and dismay.)
Casualty count? Collapse of Epic Proportion? Are you sure they were playing baseball? Is Shea a cursed place?
Mike: That may be, but I still don't get it.
Sara: Thanks! I'll post pictures as soon as I get a chance to take them. Won't move in for another couple of weeks. Hooray for not settling!
TH: I knew there was another plus side to this apartment I was forgetting.
This is why that's news:
1. It's a New York team, and a New York newspaper.
2. The Mets (yes, it's baseball) went into September 7 games ahead of their nearest competitor (this is good for the Mets). There were only 17 games scheduled in September for them, which means they could have lost 10 and still have had a tying record going into the post-season. It seemed to most Mets fans that they were going to the playoffs. However, they did not, because they couldn't even pull off a 7-10 record (that's losing, mind you).
Long story short, the Mets went into September nearly ensured of their role in the playoffs, and ended up losing it. It was the biggest "September collapse" in baseball history. Even I'm shocked and slightly dismayed, and I don't even like the Mets.
I should add a disclaimer that DS told me all of that, so if it's wrong, you can yell at him.
SG: #1 did cross my mind, but it is sent out via email to people all around the globe. As for the rest... Thank you for the explanation. (Or, thanks to DS!) I get it now, and am impressed by how badly they did. Better luck next year, Mets!
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