You may, but most likely not, recall that the first bit of my superhero-essence appeared last July.
Behold, more evidence:
Nemeses* abound everywhere! Only superheros, world leaders, rock stars, and politicians have a multitude of nemeses. The only world I lead is in my head, I refuse to be a politician, and I'm only a rock star in the comfort of my car, shower, and office. Ergo: I am a superhero!
Nemesis #1: At 8:48 am this morning, Grant Groucho Maximus in his super villain mini-bus** pulls out in front of me. Being a superhero with lightening bolt reflexes and four wheel anti-lock brakes--every superhero's choice!--I avoided impact.
Nemesis #2: At 10:50 am this morning, a superhero twist of fate puts me driving behind Granny Gal Gertrude in her bile-green Gran Prix. POW! She slams on the brakes at a pedestrian-less, stop sign-less crosswalk. ZING! Granny Gal Gertrude does it again when a cat jumps on a parked car. WHAMMY! She drifts into oncoming traffic as she reaches for her coffee. Superhero intuition and more super hero reflexes save the day.
Nemesis #3: Around 1 o'clock this afternoon I get a super hero hunger pain. I throw on my cape and head out for lunch. I wander (but purposefully) into Vik's Indian Food Yummy Cafe, and stand in line to place my order. Dare Devil Danny Doodad (his friends unknowingly call him Dan, but us super heros have discovered his real identity!) steps back. It was an undercover sneak attack! However, I foiled his toe-breaking plan by stepping swiftly to the right--a spirit breaking move! He blushed and apologized. "Ha!", I exclaimed. "You can't fool me, Devil Danny Doodad." He replied, "Just you wait. When you least expect it. Har, har, har!!!" I laughed at his pathetic evil laugh.
-----------
*I personally think nemesi would be a cooler plural alternative for nemesis. Move over Webster, Janelle-ester is here!
**It was a mini-van, but mini-bus rhymed. Every superhero knows rhyming is everything.
3 comments:
Haha! You crack me up!!
You should come save my crappy day.
That's cool.
I take it Granny Gal Gertrude was elderly. Here's an interesting bit of regional slang I learned in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. An elderly driver is referred to as a "hat" (a reference to the fact that you, driving behind this person's car, can usually only see a hat protruding from above the back of the driver seat -- probably one of those narrow-brimmed round fishing hats).
As in, "sorry I'm late, but I was stuck behind a 'hat.'"
Hahaha!! Thanks for the laugh--this was great!
val
Post a Comment