(The title is misleading at first.)
I don't have a computer at home for a good reason. I would have many late nights if I did. As it is, I came back to the studio to write a post that urged me from sleep at the unkind hour of 1am.
I'm still composing that pesky post. I don't know if I'll ever finish it. If I do, I don't know if I'll post it. It's a doozy. Trés. About life and death and meaning and no meaning. (Whatever.)
But a comment from a good intentioned Tiny Hands on a previous post sprouted a new one.
Appropriate goodwill.
Tiny Hands gently chided me for not being more open to the goodwill of a stranger. I'm not sure I see goodwill in the action of the perfect stranger disclosing very personal information.
Unlike with my blog, where I get personal, but not too, you can close the browser window and not come back. Window shopping. Blog window shopping. If you stay and read, welcome! If you leave, that's fine, too. If I know you in the real world and you don't read my blog, I wouldn't want to marry you. If I don't know the flesh you, and you read my blog, maybe we can meet. But, can we discuss blog content? I don't know. Ah... another post!
(I strayed.)
Normally, I'm open to personal disclosure from strangers. Usually, though, some form of connection precipitates. (I'm not sure if "precipitates" is the right word, but I'm using it. It's late.) We click somehow. Someway.
But when a person I'd just met at the socially mandatory introductory level walks into my office and says, "Hey, I have relationship problems, and I think you might, too," I'm resisting the urge to say, "I'm sorry, the doctor is not in right now. Please take a seat, and she'll be with you shortly."
I guess I just didn't feel "the love." I felt, "I disclose, then you disclose." No love. No clicky-click. Intrusive and yuck. Office, me. Client, she.
There's been a lot of janelle-renée-explaining-herself going on lately! What's up with that? I don't know, but it's later now, and the other post found a comfortable place to rest until tomorrow. I'm going to do the same.
17 comments:
I think you're onto something here.
Or how about a card that simply reads: "I'm crazier than you. You might want to consider talking to somebody who won't throw their shoes at you. Even if they are very nice shoes."
As a general rule, it's a good idea to ignore advice from people with very small hands.
And don't ignore advice from people with very squat cups. They give pretty damn good advice.
(Maybe it's because squat cups make their hands look bigger? Then again, OM, is pretty wise, and his cup is the antisquat.)
Oh goodness, I didn't mean for it to come off as chiding you in any way. Not remotely, so I'm really very sorry if you thought I was being down on you. I especially don't want to be the new guy who shows up at a blog and starts trying to change everyone and correcting your spelling & such (BTW- so far, so good).
As for the level of intimacy between you and your client, I assumed this was someone with whom you were more than casually acquainted, so that was also my mistake. Considering your feelings on personal disclosure and as far as I can tell, I think you handled the situation perfectly, changing the subject as you did. Although I'm aware that it matters not what I think.
What I was really going for in my comment (as I dig myself further and further into the hole, as I'm wont to do on occasion) was that I thought it was nice of a stranger to care about another stranger. I don't think it happens enough.
Please accept my apology. I'll stop typing now. (ikeMay, stop laughing)
JR, I, for one, am loving this "place" you are in right now. I look forward to your post about meaning and no meaning (a topic very dear to my soul). Transitions are marvelous for this very reason, that they provoke lots of self exploration. Which is why much great art is created in times of transition and/or pain. I honor you for the place you're in, and for the questions you're posing.
Keep being you. Keep loving you. That's the whole deal. :-)
Unsolicited BS from a friend you've never met other than in bloggyworld (to use a Tart word).
I see good advice here. Many good guys for you, are waiting!
Tinyhands-- Wow! Thank you for the wonderful apology. I'm glad you're here.
Willie-- I can tell it's going to be increasingly difficult for me to stay annoyed at you. ;)
Anonymous-- Thanks?
Willie-- Where is that Tart, BTW? I haven't seen her in a week. Have you?
Vous? Annoyed avec moi?? C'est domage. :-) But I'm glad you're getting over it. I'm really ok. :-)
Rumour has it the Tart has been vacationing in the South, and she has been very neglectful of all her bloggy friends. There will be hell to pay, n'est ce pas??
Have a glorious week, my dear.
Annoyed in the very best way.
Thanks for the Tart update. Incidentally, I got an e-mail from her. I'm glad she's still alive and kicking!
Hell, oui!
Oh my.... I feel like I am intruding here on a private tete-a-tete tween rrramone & JR.
All is well in Tart world... carry on U 2!
Adieu,
The Tart
BTW...WB left a great note. ( I just read his 1st comment).
I will fly him out to SF to visit U. All U must do is take him to a museum...it's like water for WB. Plus you will enjoy a great conversation with a sincerly delightful rrramone! Caffeine free ~ no Starbucks, very cost effective rrramone ; )
Smooch,
The Tart
I can do that.
Smooch back at ya.
Dang! Free travel! Woooohoooooooo! :-)
Did Tart win the lottery??
Tart is feeling very charitable these days... she saw heaven from her haunted hotel in the Alamo City...and in those HOT WHEELS.
AND it is spring U know. ; )
BUT beware, rrramone is a walking Big D pheromone. Hmmmm, a bellissimo straniero... so prepare yourself. Well, um, prepare SF and the great state of California! Thank goodness he does not drink caffeine....sheesh, I shudder to think, what with those cracks or faults or whatever in the Golden Gate area. Phew!
Anywhooooo, gotta catch some Tarty beauty sleep, natch!
Smooch,
Daphne The Tart
Pssssssssst. Don't tell Apollo where I am ~ not ready to be Apple Tree yet! Am too busy with Adam. ; )
Tart--Did you change your name again? Daphne? Oh, wait. Apollo. I get it. It's too early. I need some caffeine or more sleep.
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