R met with some clients this morning at the studio. A husband and wife. They were referred to him by a guy he knows through Aikido, and for whom he did some boat work.
R and I are private people, for the most part. Not many people outside of our close friends know about the current state of our personal life. It's not like we have a blog or anything. (!) I've told, and will tell our close current personable clients who've known us as a married couple, but other than them, I don't feel it necessary to cause the discomfort (for me and the other) that naturally arises when disclosing such personal matters.
So, I didn't know what to say when the wife came into my office and told me about the self-help relationship books she just finished reading. "Oh!" was as much as I could muster since (1) I didn't know her, (2) I don't care to know about her relationship issues, and (3) I'm not going to discuss mine with a complete stranger. She went on to tell me that she and her husband got back this week from a relationship intensive workshop in Colorado. "That's nice," I responded. Then she said that their insurance covered most of it. "Thank god! I'll take that and run with it!" I thought. And I did.
"Yeah, my friend's insurance covers her acupuncture therapy. I'm so glad that insurance companies are starting to wise up and cover alternative and preventative treatments and therapies."
It worked! We chatted for a few minutes about health insurance, cancer, and pap tests. I normally would not talk about pap tests, but I found it to be a preferable topic to relationship issues.
Knowing what the answer would be, I still asked R if he mentioned our situation to the new clients. (Of course he didn't.) We decided that either the guy R knows told them (we don't know if he knows, though), the woman was psychic, or it was just one of those things. One of those uncomfortable things.
5 comments:
Sometimes people know you better than you think or might like to admit. Uncomfortable yes, but try to accept her goodwill in the spirit in which it was intended. After all, I think you're fortunate that she cares about your personal life at all. But you shouldn't necessarily feel obligated to reciprocate.
Tiny Hands-- I disagree. Respectfully. You might, too, if you were here with me.
I accept appropriate goodwill. Inappropriate goodwill is messy. Besides, I'd just mopped up the place.
JR, I'm sorry to have been late in chiming in, but want to extend our best wishes in dealing with a situation that's difficult one way or another.
I thought your redirection of the conversation was masterful (you could consider a second career dealing with preschoolers, in the unlikely [?] event you got sick of design). I've seen insufficient disclosure first-hand -- e.g., I found out that a car-nut friend and former colleague had separated when I called to talk about a car purchase decision, and got his now-ex-wife, who was really surprised to hear that I hadn't previously heard anything about it. This situation isn't even close.
With clients, it's one thing to shoot the breeze for a few minutes, but I'd agree that it's the rare case when I'd be remotely inclined to discuss any deep personal issues.
Tom-- Not late! You always seem to show up at just the right time, and thank you for your kind words.
Hm. Preschoolers, eh? I have to admit that's the first time someone's recommended for me a career in that arena. I couldn't help but laugh!
Sorry to hear about the awkward phone discussion. I'll keep your story in mind if ever R's friends call me in the future. I'll be gentle and not act surprised, even if I am. No need to make a situation more uncomfortable than it has to be, I would like to always say, but somehow, sometimes forget.
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I don't know if our blogging buddy Oscar is still doing the WVC (I wonder if he needs to pass the torch on to somebody else? Hint, hint, OM!), but I have to do this one:
efczi--(effect z)-- The snappy skill employed by cartoonists to depict their characters asleep.
(And look at me. Just this morning I promised on OM's blog that I wouldn't mention the absence of WVC again. Us women!)
crazy psychic people
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