798. Now, how did they know that I have belly fat?

Way back when, the first time I attempted to highlight a word I did not know in the New York Times online edition--in order to copy and paste it into my desktop dictionary--I felt mild outrage when a pop-up window appeared with the definition. "Bastards!" I yelled as I quickly closed the window and proceeded to go about learning the vocabulary My Way.

Isn't my ignorance entitled to privacy? I want the good people of the New York Times (who certainly have a special team of people monitoring my reading choices, since they have nothing else better to do) to be impressed that I spend countless hours each month reading their fine rag--and I don't limit myself to the "most e-mailed" articles either! Oh, no. I'm way more impressive than that.

Anyway, it's not like I have to look up a word every time I read an article. Sometimes I even know the word that I'm looking up, but just want to clarify my understanding or see its pronunciation or learn its etymology.

The NYT's dictionary feature is actually a reference search. Let's say that you are reading an article about...oh, I don't know... smashing protons. If you double-click in the text the word "proton" a pop-up window discloses a definition from a "NYT Guide to Essential Knowledge" (because it greatly differs from the definition from a standard dictionary definition, which it also gives), a description from Columbia Encyclopedia, and a definition from a nameless (generic, supposedly) science dictionary. (Other words, like "Pakistan" for example, in other articles reveal also historical and geographical information.)

I don't like my humble pie served to me while I'm reading things that help to increase my knowledge (read: make me feel fabulously intellectual), and I've found ways to avoid the pop-up window. I've since learned to highlight an unknown-to-me word more carefully by a click-and-drag rather than employing the easier double-click-to-highlight method.* Or, if I'm looking up a particularly pedestrian word I'll simply just type it into my dictionary in order to avoid the humiliating pop-up window.

The New York Times, though, in their cruel methodology has devised new methods to flaunt its intellectual supremacy over me through their chosen paid advertisements that are annoyingly displayed alongside their articles. "The secrets to lose belly fat in 10 days or less!" Yes, it seems that they discovered my other insecurity (the big one as you may have gathered by now, is that I don't feel very intelligent) that is neighbor to the newish jiggle that has claimed residency around my midriff.

Yes, NYT, we all know how super smart you are. So, why isn't that enough for you? Leave us simpletons alone! Let us go about learning words the old fashioned way and in privacy.

The encyclopedia and links to relevant articles feature (this latter feature is activated only through the hyperlink text in the article) are pretty cool, though; keep those. However, YOU MUST dismantle the dictionary feature! It is very damaging to my fragile ego which induces chocolate cravings which increases belly jiggle.

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*I don't know about your computer, but all I need to do to highlight text is double-click on the word. In the NYT, this opens up the reference search (or the "Boy, aren't you stupid! You don't know that word!") pop-up window. Bastards.